It’s a boy! Couple reveal sex of their ‘gender neutral’ kid after five years | The Sun |News

 There seem to be a growing number of people who are making the decision to raise their child “gender neutral”. The couple featured in this article did not reveal the sex or name their child, who turned out to be a boy, until the age of five. Throughout the first five years they referred to newly named Sasha as “the infant”, played with gender neutral toys and alternated the wearing of boys & girls clothing.

I find this fascinating and eagerly await studies on the psychological effect that it has on the children. I would think that implementation of gender on children while placing limitations on them by forcing them to play, dress and BEHAVE in gender specific ways would have a much more negative impact than encouraging gender neutrality.

When I was a little girl I hated dresses & skirts with a passion. They made me feel uncomfortable and I felt silly wearing

them. Yet my mother forced me to wear them and I resented her for it. In those days, all I wanted to wear were my jeans so I could crawl around the dirt out back to collect earth worms. Of course, I now realize that my mother was as big a tomboy as I was so her mom did the exact same thing to her for being too “boyish”.  Imposing  limitations on the creativity of children is carried out generation, after generation. The idea of just letting kids be themselves is thrilling and I cannot wait to hear what type of person Sasha develops into.


About Kris Rais

I have decided to start living instead of to merely exist after years of care giving. I am currently working towards my university degree and reaching higher consciousness through my practice of yoga.
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15 Responses to It’s a boy! Couple reveal sex of their ‘gender neutral’ kid after five years | The Sun |News

  1. I wanted to run experiments like this on our kids, but my wife would never let me. I mean, identical twins? Come on! That just screams experiment!

    I don’t entirely buy the parents’ rationale for choosing to raise their child as gender neutral, but not because I dispute their right to do so. This whole, stereotypes-put-people-in-boxes-I-want-him-to-reach-his-full-potential thing just does not seem well thought out. By that account no in the world reaches their full potential because everyone is raised in *some* gendered cultural system or another. Obviously some people are more successful than others (however you chose to define “success”) and in the course of their lives find ways to circumvent society’s stupid hang-ups. Navigating those road bumps is a part of life, is it not?

    Not to change the subject, but it reminds me of Christiphor Hitchens’ argument in God is Not Great that all religion basically sucks because throughout history people have done bad things to one another in the name of god. Which is true, but to me, misses the point entirely. The book is all based on these scholarly debates and theological commentaries to make people take it seriously, it’s hooked itself into grand historical narratives like the Crusades. But it doesn’t have much to do with how regular people encounter the sacred in everyday worlds.

    Maybe if the reporter had pushed the parents with some tougher questions they would have been more clear.

    • I can only imagine how tempting it would be to conduct social experiments on children. Sounds like a lot of fun at their expense since we don’t know the outcome; future psychological as well as social effects is to what I am refering. The reporter seemed bias and made it seem like the parents were basically just pressuring Sasha to dress like a girl for the sake of not revealing his sex. In this regard I am going to search for an in-person interview (video) All I can say is that he looks grumpy in those wings & tutu ;)

  2. jenahmoody says:

    I don’t know that I agree with raising your child to be “gender neutral”. It’s confusing enough for children to make sense of the world they are living in. Why make it difficult for them to answer the most basic question of “are you a boy or a girl”?
    Also, if the parents want to be neutral, why don’t they use truly neutral clothes? Why do they make him wear flower tops and ruffles if they are trying to raise him “neutral”?

    • From 0-5 years of age a baby has no idea what it means to be either gender, only what parents impose on them. So they are not subjected to those questions yet. As far as the the flower tops & ruffles, who says those are feminine? A child is not aware of those labels until much later. Those limitations come much later in life.

  3. dt3d says:

    I agree with you, I do not understand how if the child is supposed to be ‘gender neutral’ why he’s wearing floral shirts. Furthermore, I am interested to see future studies regarding children being raised ‘gender neutral’ because I am fascinated in learning how children would grow up and how their lives would be if they were not binded to specific roles due to gender construct. Will they reach their ‘full potential’ by not being limited. Will they be abnormal because their personality results in pure self rather than learned actions (ie aggressive behavoir, nurture behavior) …..very interesting article.

    • I thought so too. Looking forward to what type of person Sasha grows into in reaching full potential, if that is possible. Personally I think this is a step in the right direction.

  4. casom001 says:

    The U.S is technically advanced to the point that a mother knows the sex of her child before he/she is born. So I’m baffled by the amount of time it took these parents to determine their child’s personality. The kid is a boy, what more do they need to justify that? If you take a look at the pictures of the Mother and Child embedded in this article and the original article; the mother seems excited about her child being raised “gender neutral.” This does not look like a mother who is hoping for her child’s real personality to shine through. I personally think that she must have not played with dolls during her childhood and her current child is fulfilling that need.
    Secondly, Infants deserves the right to me named as soon as they are born. It may not seem important but a “name” may be the most cherished or important thing to an infant. I really want to see this kid’s reaction to the name “Sasha” after being called “the infant” for five years

    • The mother may just be excited at what a great kid Sasha is and the interest that people seem to have in her & her husbands methods at raising him. She seems very proud of her son to me.

      The article does not say that the child was nameless until 5 just that his gender was not revealed until the age of 5 because he would begin school. The name Sasha is pretty gender neutral and it drove people to mistreat the parents, mainly the mother, when they refused to identify his sex.

      The way they raised him was all about protecting him from peoples ideas and attitudes towards their perception of what it is to be a boy or a girl. Who knows, this may work. We will hopefully see in the future.

  5. mpier023 says:

    I do not believe in this sort of raising because your child is either a boy or a girl when they are born, mainly because of the private region of a human being. The big thing i have in this whole ordeal with being raised gender neutral is this child did not have a name for the first five years of his life and was call “the infant”. If I was a child and asked my parents of family members about my childhood, I would not like to hear that my parents called me “the infant” like I was just another person. I believe that children should be raised to their sex as they grow older, but there will be times where the child will play with opposite sex toys here and there, and that is fine, but a child should be named at birth and raised what sex he is suppose to be.

    • I know that the article said that they referred to him as “the infant” to outsiders but it is not clear if Sasha knew of this. In my opinion they did this so that friends and family could not impose their views & beliefs on “the infant”

      In our everyday, once we know the sex of any baby we begin to place certain expectations, Sasha’s parents would refer to them as limitations, not intentionally but because of the beliefs that our society buys into of what a girl should behave like or what a boy should be.

      From 0-5 we are just constantly learning & evolving through play, love & socialization. To me, a lot of that time is wasted away on trying to behave like what society imposes on us. This is the perfect time to just be human. To just be.

  6. steph110604 says:

    I would like to see how he is as he grows up. Wonder if he still would chose to wear a tutu, or dresses. I wonder if children at his school pick on him. Kids are mean these days and if you have a boy wearing a tutu and fairy wings that just adds fuel to the fire. He would be bullied for sure. If they wanted him neutral then they should have neutral clothing not ruffles or pink.

    • I think the tutu & wings were more predominant from 0-5years for playing. In the article after his first five years they did let family & friends know because Sasha was in school and experiencing society’s gender specifications.

      I’m with you steph as far as the choices that he decides to make concerning clothing and behavior. I hope that this method of gender neutrality from 0-5 years empowers Sasha since he has been fully supported & legitimized by his parents. He has not experienced the social inequality that comes with having to be dominant as a boy or submissive as a girl so he is totally accepting of others. I hope that he has been empowered enough to teach kindness and acceptance to those children that may attempt to bully him.

      I sense that it is going to be a fascinating outcome.

  7. kever008 says:

    I think this article is really interesting because I think this sort of child hood gender identity is becoming more unclear as time goes on. I nanny for two young girls, and the younger girl who is almost 4 will only wear clothing with super heroes on them. She refuses to wear anything pink and her favorite color is blue. It’s funny to see this sort of gender reversal in a young girl. I would like to see more research on whether or not the way you are forced to dress as a young child or how you are allowed to dress as a young child, has an effect on your sexuality as an adult.

  8. Kris Rais says:

    I am glad that they allow the 4 year old to dress as she chooses. I mean, who doesn’t love super-heroes!
    Yes…research on if gender neutrality or reversal has an effect on sexuality would be fascinating. Thank you for taking the time to comment :)

  9. R Damon Price says:

    In the swinging 1960’s we tried very hard to raise our boy and girl “free from sex role stereotyping” as we used to say then. It was quite the rage at the time. So we dressed them both in colorful T shirts and shorts or jeans. No war toys and no girly dolls. But he preferred the shared toy trucks and she preferred the shared toy kitchen. She wanted dresses and he, when offered them as well in the interests of gender neutrality, most definitely did not. Though he was only three. We gave up. He was a boy. She was a girl. We got used to it.

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