Are men and women really looking for the same thing when it comes to relationships?

As of lately, several of my male friends have complained about the quality of women that they have access to for dating.  The general concensus is that in today’s society, females are about one thing: money.  They are used to the “tradtional values” of a man being able to provide for them and support their needs and occasional habits.  My friends have concluded that it is hard to find a woman who is established in her own rite.  This includes stable employment, a place to call her own, a reliable vehicle, and sometimes educated.  All in all, they want an independent women.  However, if and when she comes along, they are not able to uphold HER standards and then they find it hard to stay with this female.  Could it be that they are truly intimindated and feel inadequate in their own qualities?

I find that thought entertaining because most men who want these qualities in a women do not even come close to having these qualities themselves.  Some of them live at home or with roommates.  Others have multiple kids and “baby mommas”.  Others do not even know how to drive.  So how is it possible to ask for these assets and not own them?

I find that many men look for these abilities because they want the very thing that they said they do not want to do: have a women take care of them.  They want the security of knowing that if they fall that someone will be there to have their back and pick up the slack.  So I do bring to their attention that some women look for these things as well because they seek secuirty in their life as well and I do not think that for either sex, it is nothing wrong with security.  I tell them that a partner should be just that: equal.  If you do not have your own place why should you expect your mate to have the same thing.  Now on the other side of that, it does not mean that you should not strive to obtain these goals.  That way, whether man or woman, you do not feel intimidated or used if the person who they are dating have/do not have these qualities.

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4 Responses to Are men and women really looking for the same thing when it comes to relationships?

  1. johncann2 says:

    I am not sure that I can agree with this observation. This would need to be supported with some sort of data indicating the the population and variations of the findings.

  2. ashleighvanstraten says:

    I really enjoyed this post. I agree, i think that everyone wants security; both financially and emotionally in a relationship. I also feel that equality is what both males and females are looking for. But on the other hand if i were to fall in love with a man in the future and he could not financially support both of us, i think that love would over power the money situation

    • Aww, you’re so romantic. Unfortunately I can’t agree with you. In order for long term relationships to be stable there needs to be an economic partnership. If the relationship isn’t working on a material level its not going to work on an emotional level either.

  3. dbask005 says:

    I must agree there are a couple valid points in this post however I disagree with the comment about men looking for this just so they have security. I personally look for a female with all of these qualities because although i dont mind taking care of my woman I will not want her to rely on me.

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