What is “Normal”? The 6 Date Rule.

How long do we wait? It’s a question that we ask ourselves about everything…from calling the cute guy who gave us their number at the bar to deciding on how long before having sex with him. And more importantly….does this have set amount of time differ from guys to girls?

“Well, you better be careful, you wait too long to sleep with someone, you miss the window and become just friends”
                                                                          – Samantha ; Sex and the City.

There are many answers to these puzzling dating questions. Some people refuse to kiss on the first date, while others end up turning their first date into a sleepover. For most the question of how long to wait before having sex with someone is answered with a simple “just wait until it feels right.” But the first time two people have sex is nothing about it feeling right. In most cases it is a nervous and awkward situation…unless of course alcohol plays a factor in it, in which case…the most awkward part is the morning after. 

After doing some research on the topic I have found that the average time for people to wait is 4-6 dates. This is of course going to be the average for both women and men, because after all it does take two to tango. The question here is….how long would a male want to wait vs how long a female would like to. After reading many discussion boards and magazine articles, I found that men think its a waste of time, money, and commitment to wait too long, because after all the sex could be bad. With women on the other hand, I found that they do not believe in a standard, but prefer if the guy can wait at least three dates. After all no one likes a horndog, or even worse a pushy guy who says things like “Oh come on honey, this ain’t the 1950s.”

As you can see Whoopi talks about how sometimes “you just want to get laid.” In that case is it okay to have sex on the first date? And what if you do have sex on the first date, but then you want more from that person…is it now possible to make a relationship out of the situation or did having sex too soon spoil it? Or will the guy now see you in a different light…after all Charlotte is right.


I personally believe in waiting. Having sex after a couple of dates might be great, because after all you’ve just met..there is still that excitement, but Sherri Shepherd is right….”why buy the cow if the milk is free?” Now waiting doesn’t have to mean months or until there is a certain title set such as “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, but then again it is your personal choice. The point of this blog isn’t for me to preach what to do….it is to hear from you guys what you think about the topic. 


About thesinglegreenlight

Senior at ODU. Criminal Justice major with a minor in Public Services, and a second minor in Human Services.
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3 Responses to What is “Normal”? The 6 Date Rule.

  1. I can’t speak to this from experience. I hardly dated at all, honest! From what I’ve heard among my friends however it seems that for women this is something that changes with age. Women in their early twenties tend to want to wait longer than women in their thirties. Maybe its caution? Maybe its being self-conscious? I don’t know. This is just the trend I’ve noticed – I could be wrong!

  2. Pingback: Beware of the Hard Sell « Women in Contemporary Relationships

  3. Hi there. I’ve written extensively on this topic, and recommend waiting as long as possible if you want to be taken seriously. I appreciate that marriage may not always be a realistic length of time, but the longer the better so that Charlotte’s picture above doesn’t come to pass.

    I’ve said Guys will stay with a girl and take her seriously BECAUSE she won’t put out. Don’t put out girls, and you’ll find it a million times easier to nail down a good man. More details here:


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