Let me kick off this post by first addressing a few things; First, the titled list is by no means complete, and by no means encompasses all men, so don’t be offended if you are or are not included. Secondly, I am a man and I have been for a while now. Third and finally, I fully admit guilt to most of these accusations.
Here we go.
To address this completely we must first examine the male ego, or rather ego in general. Everyone wants to be the hero or heroin in his or her own story, lets be honest, why be Robin when you could be Batman? Or Goose over Maverick? No one wants to play second fiddle in his or her own band, and from this, specifically from the male perspective we find the Alpha Male. The Alpha Male is something we find in both society and nature; after all, someone has to sit at the top. While in nature this might be easy to figure out by who is the strongest, has the best mating call or who is the largest, in society it is much foggier of an argument. Enter the proverbial Pissing Contest.
Today’s culture is puzzling. Where as previous societies measured the strength of their citizens by how great of a warrior they were, or how useful of a farm hand they could be, today our playing field is much more level and far lower. It seams that in the society we live in dominance is no longer achieved through great acts, or incredible feats, but rather ones confidence derived from ego. And for the most part, at least in my experience, men are almost always, all talk.
I’ll be the first one to admit that there is nothing more embarrassing than another man showing you up in anything, especially if there are women around. And I have narrowed it down to what I believe to be the three most ego driven parts of any mans life; guns, cars and sex. All of these things have one irrefutable truth about them, most if not all men believe that they are experts in all three fields.
I’ll start with guns. Now, I probably have more experience with firearms than most non-military people; especially people my age (21). This comes not only for my fascination with firearms but also my occupation. At the time of this blog post I am employed by The United States Marine Corps as a Civilian Range Safety Officer at Camp Allen Weapons Range (The Marine base off Terminal Billiard.) Long story short I babysit sailors with guns. The range I work at is not open only for use by the military, there is a recreational portion too which gives those sailors as well as other military affiliates in the area a chance to get some shooting experience, and I can tell you from first hand experience that men do not take kindly to advice given to them about shooting. Now I don’t want you to think I’m some Jackwagon who goes around telling people everything I know trying to impress them, I’m not. Generally I keep my nose out of everyone’s business unless they ask, or they are being unsafe. Most often it’s the latter that draws me to people. Firearms are dangerous; I don’t think you need me to tell you that, so you can see how 15 of them in a contained area handled by people with in some cases less than adequate experience can be at very least concerning. Fortunately or unfortunately that’s where I come in, almost always to the chagrin of the person I am trying to help.
Cars. Jay Leno I believe put it best when addressing my two next topics, and I touched on it a bit earlier. (Paraphrasing) Racing cars is like sex; all men think they are good at it. While I had ground to stand on with my previous topic, here is where I take a lengthy walk down an abbreviated pier. My car racing experience begins and ends with Go-Karts, not even the cool kind, just the dopey $5 a ride carnival style glorified lawn mowers, but I am a racing fan. I would be lying to you if the thought of trying to become a professional car driver, I mean its driving a car! How hard could it be! But that is where my naivety and reality sets in. If you have ever had dreams of becoming a racer or a drifter, just because you watched The Fast and the Furious than you know what I am talking about. What you might not know is all the complexities that are involved in really driving or drifting. I can begin to try and explain any of them because I will inevitably wind up looking like an ass, but I am sure you can put together that it is not as easy as it looks.
Sex is going to be a tricky one, best left at what man really thinks he is bad at it. In the most primal “I AM ALL THAT IS MAN” moment who has time for criticism?
In Conclusion, I find that in activities that are stereotypically dominated by men, ego allows no judgment from outsiders. I know what I am doing because I am a man and this is what men do. The End.