What is monogamy?
Monogamy: The practice or condition of having a single sexual partner during a period of time.
This definition is vague of course and could be taken in many different ways. Most definitions contain some form of marriage or union, but I believe the definition above has a lot of merit in society today.
A long distance monogamous relationship between two people is the topic I find interesting and touches close to home for me. I am currently in a long distance relationship, and I enjoying the aspect of the relationship that is built on trust, communication, and personal feelings for one another.
I have asked myself several questions since it first began.
1) Can you consider a relationship monogamous without having sex?
3) Is it possible to have a monogamous relationship with thousands of miles between the two people?
My first thought, based solely on the multiple definitions, is yes but it requires the people to be married. Then the realization is you can’t. I mean a relationship without the intent of sex is not a monogamous relationship but rather a close friendship. There is a natural urge for humans to indulge in sexual activity.
This leads to my next question, is monogamy in a relationship natural? The anatomy of the human bodies tells us that we were not built for monogamy. The thought of multiple partners seems like something that will satisfy, but with it comes stress. This can be in the form of STIs, the burden of multiple relationships, or questions of paternity (for men). The reason for monogamous relationships is to build a secure, emotionally stable, and happy life. While it may unnatural, there are benefits to monogamous relationships and they can have positive effects on your life.
Since there is a lot of an emphasis on physical touch and sexual contact, is it even possible to have a monogamous relationship with someone when you cannot see or touch them? It seems like an impossible task to be faithful to someone who is extremely far away. The natural urges that cause people to feel temptation, the lack of physical/sexual contact, and the stress of life are all problems that must be addressed when looking at a long distance relationship.
A good monogamous relationship is built on the grounds of strong understanding, trust, communication, personal connection, and of course some type of sexual connection. Building a relationship with all of these values is hard even when two people see each other on a regular basis. Long distance relationships take away the physical connection and makes things even more difficult. While this may seem like a hindrance, it actually puts more emphasis the other key components of a monogamous relationship.
Sex complicates things. A relationship built on sex can only last so long before the “fire” goes out. This is why I think a long distance monogamous relationship is a plausible concept. The connection built between people who have not had sexual relations can only be based on the two personalities. As a couple maintains trust, communication, and commitment to one another, it builds a healthy mental relationship (if their personalities are compatible). The mental connection between the couple leads to the feeling of security and emotional stability, which are benefits gained from the monogamous relationship. There still must be a physical aspect to a monogamous relationship (even a long distance one), but you can build the foundation for an amazing relationship from a distance.