Physical Violence and Rape Between the Sexes

Women have always been seen as the more “docile” sex.  But as times are changing so are we.  It was once thought that women could not defend themselves from their attacker. Today we are presented with a very different image.

In this video right as a large man tries to pull this young girl back into the elevator, we see her take charge and gain the upper hand with her attacker. She even manages to give him quite a “beating” before he desperately crawls out of the elevator.  Even then we see her chase after him.  In this video I commend the young girl. She has the right to protect herself and she did not only that, but the experience will probably leave the attacker apprehensive about attacking someone in the future.

This video however leaves me feeling unconfident about who is the instigator. While it appears the man is tailing her, he has yet to actually lay hand on the woman or her child. Does that give her the right to hit him?  I don’t believe so.  A woman should only instigate physical violence if she has actually been threatened.  I see how she could have felt threatened since he was closely following her, but he did not deserve to be hit.  However, he had no good reason to hit her either, as she was trying to get away from him and he tracked her down again, and knocked over her child in the process.

This last video is particularly offensive as this woman is clearly attacking this man.  While the couple begins their “alone time” with some passionate kissing, things quickly turn serious as he denies her advances for sex.  This girl got particularly violent and I doubt she suffered any legal repercussions because of this.  There is also little support for men who are attacked.  Typical other males responses would range from disbelief to demeaning. Men are supposed to take up any offer of sex, and are outside the social norm to reject someone they already know on a physical level.

There were also several videos online of women beating their boyfriends who have cheated on them.  Most of the comments on the video were supportive of the women participating in physical violence. That he “got what was coming to him.”  I am sure that they would have had very different reactions if a man were beating a woman for being unfaithful.  Somehow, societies view that physical violence against women is worse than not only women’s violence towards men, but worse than men hitting weaker men or adults hitting children.    Once a woman has been hit, society does not question whether she provoked the situation, or if she instigated the physical violence. If she hits him, shes crazy or he did something wrong.  If he hits her he’s abusive. Either way society today should have no excuse for physical violence.

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2013/01/the-lessons-of-steubenville.html

I have honestly never been as disgusted as when I was reading comments about the Steubenville rape case.  How can after centuries people still claim that people who got raped were “asking” for it?   That she could come up with these “false” accusations to play off a night of drinking?   As much as someone could create a false story of being raped, they would have had a hard time making up all the technological evidence to support it.  Instead of teaching boys not to rape, we teach women how to not get raped.  We need to create a society where we teach people that any sort of physical or sexual violence against each other is wrong.   Not that its ok if she hits him, or she was asking for it.

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About reztap

ODU student, avid traveler, dog lover, and bookworm.
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8 Responses to Physical Violence and Rape Between the Sexes

  1. ctayl059 says:

    Police used to always be taught that when responding to a domestic violence call or sexual harassment to assume the man was the instigator. But now we see that these customs are changing because women can assault men sexually and even lead to rape. Rape is one of the most traumatic crimes in this world and whether it’s against a man or woman the effects can be brutal.

  2. I think we’re comparing likening female violence to male violence is like comparing apples to oranges here. The majority of instances of domestic violence DO have men as the instigator so it makes sense to train police to respond to the most common forms of such violence. And while male-on-male sexual harassment is problem that needs to be addressed, female-on-male rape is really fringe. Shouldn’t our concern be to focus on the most widespread forms of violence?

  3. mchap016 says:

    I agree with Professor Thompson majority of the time men are the perpetrators of sexual assault and rape, women devise a small percentage and some attribute that to the lack of reporting to the Police. Also another theory is that Men would feel a rejection of their masculinity from society, by admitting to being raped and appearing vulnerable. One point I want to touch base on was where it was stated “instead of teaching boys not to rape, we teach women how not to get raped.” There is no way you can teach one to “not get raped” that is placing blame on the victims of rape rather than the perpetrator and the crime itself. There are situations where the victim had no way of stopping the attack from occurring, and were taken off guard. Instead we could look at rape from both genders and teach caution, warning signs, tactics, and resources to avoid certain situations that could put oneself at risk. Rape is not a crime of sex, rather one of control and power of the victim. The majority of the time victims of rape and sexual assault know their offenders. The victims rapist dominantly is comprised of family, friends, and acquaintances. There are common rape myths that society often focuses on that makes people quick to have their assumptions about rape and the victim.
    Rape Myths (4)
    1. Victims is not a real victim of myth
    -Significant numbers of people believe women precipitate or cause their rape victimizations.
    -Victims blame themselves at times
    2. Alcohol and drugs cause sexual assault and rape
    -Are often present and consumed in sexual abuse incidents.
    -Study of Greek Students both men and women said that the opposite sex’s consumption of alcohol makes them sexier.
    Presence of drugs and alcohol creates a wrong impression
    3. Rapists are sick
    Typical rapists are portrayed as crazy, sexually starved, or psychotic
    4. Rape is simply a mis communication b/t the assailant and the victim.
    “Reasons for Rape
    Interviews with confessed rapists and men who have not raped showed that non rapists often:
    1) blame women for turning them on
    2) link sex and violence
    3) report wanting to be violent toward women they perceive as trying to tease them

    • reztap says:

      When you say, “Instead we could look at rape from both genders and teach caution, warning signs, tactics, and resources to avoid certain situations that could put oneself at risk,” that is exactly what I mean when we teach people, especially women, how not to get raped. Instead of teaching that rape is in no way acceptable. We don’t tell young men not to rape, it is assumed they will know this. We need a greater emphasis on not only telling young people that this a wrong behavior, but also to greater punishment for rape offenders.

      • mchap016 says:

        I agree, there needs to be more education on the subject, and more information needs to be available and provided for survivors of sexual abuse to know that there are organizations and options they can use to seek help, feel trusted to report the crime, and receive any medical help/counseling to combat the trauma associated with rape/sexual assault. Rape is something that is kept quiet and almost makes the victim feel shameful, when they should understand that what occured was in no way their fault. Rape is not about sex, its all about power and control. On that note there is this new tool/ product made that has been used in many other countries such as china, and Africa to try and combat the issue of rape. It is called the “Jaws Condom” The device is likened to a female condom, except it has 25 fish-like-teeth that will attach on to the penis of any would-be rapist or unsuspecting lover. There has been much controversy surrounding the anti rape tool, however, it has been used in countries were rape is drastically high, and has saved many young girls from rapists, for fear of the she might be wearing the jaws condom.

  4. rawpickle says:

    Exaclty Professor Thompson, by analogize to female violence to male violence is like comparing the birds and the bees because men(birds) have been leader in creating physical violence for a long time seen from how they are able to flex their muscles(wings) giving the recipient the view of what is expected once they unleash their fury. However, Women(bees) have shown tremendous strides toward gaining equality with the opposite gender and wanting respect. So i feel like women are like bees calm, cool, and collect letting the enemy know that they can only take soo much until they finally start stinging the enemy with their poison. Just like in today society where women are intimidating men with their threat or actuality of physical violence and making feminine figure able stand on the same playing field as just like the masculine figure has done for years.
    Also there is no way i could compare rapes between sexs after reading the book called Our Guys and seeing how it related to the article about Steubenville rape case because in the book i read there was a small town in new jersey where high school football jocks had rape a mentally retard girl and i can’t process this literally due to the males are jocks where several girl in high school are fantasizing about having sex with them. The point i am trying to make female will not be able to produces rape at the rate males do because power and control males recieved when they engage in these acts.

  5. teterpanda says:

    There are a lot of things when considering a sexual assault/rape. A person is responsible for their actions, sexual arousal does not mean there is consent, and mixed signals do happen. This is not always the case but it does happen. There have been cases where women get wasted and sleep with someone though if sober they wouldn’t have, and the man has been convicted of rape. This is kind of hard to think of because that means any woman you meet at a bar could accuse you of rape. Another case involved a man being rape, and the fact that he got an erection (sexually aroused) was the defense of the woman even though he told her to stop. The worse things are mixed signals; someone comes on to you while telling you to stop making advances. I understand rape is traumatic for the victims, and something should be done to deter sexual assaults, but just because someone said there was a rape does not mean it is always true.

  6. reztap says:

    How can we really say that male rape is a lesser issue if it being reported as a lesser rate? If people are not reporting it, it does not play into statistics. In seeing rape or violence statistics we are mostly dealing with women because men do more damage. I feel if we place a greater emphasis on the end of all violence in general, we would reduce violence. Even the more generally occurring common couple violence, which occurs between both sexes at equal rates.

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