The Female Cougar

Does age matter when it comes to love?  According to the stereotypes cast upon people dating someone of an older generation, it would seem so.   The first stereotype between a man and a woman where the woman is older will label the woman as a cougar.   This label used to refer to older women who “preyed” upon young men.  As times have changed this label went from a derogatory term to a desirable term.  She can be a woman who rocks the clothing of a younger generation; however, she takes care of herself and looks good. She has no need for a man to settle down and marry or have children; these things have already been accomplished. She has no need for commitment.  These women have a positive self-image, enjoy sex, and more importantly, know what they are doing.  However, it is people’s reactions to them that give them a stigmatism.

As we saw in Friends, one of my favorite TV shows, a cougar is looked down upon.  While Phoebe originally seems excited about her brother’s engagement, she has a very different reaction once she learns her age.  She even enlists the help of Ross and Joey to deter her brother, but they quickly change sides once they realize that her brother has something special.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PsmMAAVU40

However, according to men, a cougar can be a good thing. She is independent, financially sufficient, and the young man does not have to worry about gold diggers.  She is also expected to have different life traits such as being more relaxed on vacation, and do not discuss what shade of lipstick matches their skirt.  Due to age these women know what they want in life.  They do not play games or value materialistic things.

http://voices.yahoo.com/top-5-characteristics-cougar-woman-3976498.html

http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/dating16b.html

This term “gold digger” is what we get when we switch this relationship in terms of age. Any woman who marries a man several years her senior is immediately measured in what terms of financial gain. “Is she with him for his money?” “Does she not work?”  These questions can be frequently asked regarding this scenario.   A woman asking, “What do you do?” is a red flag.  It’s not like she could have an actual interest in the man she’s seeing.

The article on wikihow particularly made me laugh.

http://www.wikihow.com/Spot-a-Gold-Digger

You can tell that a girl is a gold digger by her sense of entitlement that she be treated well.  Doesn’t everyone think they should be treated well? As an independent woman who works two jobs and pays her own bills, I ALWAYS offer to pay half the bill. But a guy offering to pay definitely changes the “tone” of the evening.  It can go from two friends having a drink to someone trying to court someone.   Either way I still expect to be treated well.

There are some very strange expectations that accompany what people are after when they date someone of a different age.  People do not assume that they are simply with someone based off mutual interest or that they have had similar life circumstances.   We cannot base assumptions of someone’s relationship on their age.

Women in the Workplace

It’s interesting to the change in American history with female employees in the workplace. It was not long ago that it was frowned upon for women to work in the workplace. Everyone remembers the American dream that was preached just after World War II, the 2-car garage, white picket fence, wife and kids. In that American dream the woman-stayed home to take care of the kids and perform household tasks while the men worked.  Obviously this is not the case now more and more women are entering the workplace and the workforce. Today women make up almost 50% of the workforce in the United States. To me it’s also interesting to see our perceptions of those women in the work place. Many women and men have very differing views on this topic. I know of some women who judge other women for working too much, and they feel that their kids are not going to be raised correctly. And those who work feel that those who stay at home and are taking care of their children are not exerting their independence.

An example where the gender difference is most seen is in the show “Mad men”. The show talks about the men of Madison Avenue. The men work for an ad agency and it takes place in the 1960s. While there is many women that work for the ad agency the women are in lower level positions while the men handle the “real work”. The women don’t ever really handle any kind of serious work on the show and the women are always subservient to the men. I feel that a lot of women feel that they are not treated with equal amounts of respect as men do. To me this is a product of our society. For many years our society is a patriarchal society.  I think that a lot of men feel that they need to be the ones that provide for their wives and I think some men are insecure about it. Our society has always been one where the men do the hard labor, at one point much of our society was blue-collar work that many women did not want to do. But now with the advent of more white-collar jobs more women are entering the workplace, which has gone against what was once a strict social norm in the United States.

 

I personally don’t have any problem with women in the workplace. It’s a part of our society that is slowly changing as time moves on.  It’s hard for many people to accept that change but I believe that it is a welcome change in our society. Men or women no gender is better but each has a unique set of skills that they can bring to the table to get the job done.

Is there room for a rainbow colored NFL Player?

In the past sports have been less than open to accept people of color into their clubs. Eventually, of course, Racism has died down and people of color play in professional sports daily. This took time for people to accept but it eventually paid off and it is much better for everyone. Can the same be said for sexuality? Is sexism really that much different than racism? There are coinciding outlooks on this and if a player openly comes out as gay in the National Football League will they be shunned? Obviously if a player came out as homosexual than they would still be welcome to play in the NFL, but is it worth receiving all this negative attention for? There are many questions to this and little answers unless this actually happens. There has been speculation that as many as four players who play in the NFL may come out to be homosexual. This should not be such a big deal as it is, but of course, people are making it out to be and are looking at it like it could be detrimental. When and if the players come out, they will be faced with much adversity like Jackie Robinson faced when he played in the MLB. The said players that might come out will be called hero’s they will also inevitably be called faggots and other hurtful words. They may even lose friends along the way and gain enemies. If the players come out, this will define them for the rest of their lives and they may not be able to deal with the consequences.

There have been multiple polls that surveyed hundreds of thousands of people which ask is the NFL ready for a gay player to come out. The survey answered a surprisingly 55% no and 45% yes. This shows that many people are not comfortable with this and the poor men that are believed to come out will unfortunately be judged harshly and deal with many consequences. There are hundreds of openly gay men in sports around the country but not one in the NFL, why is that? It is because men in the NFL are supposed to be tough, rugged, and masculine. Why can you not be all three and still be a homosexual? It is the stereotypes that support this and hopefully if the men come out in the NFL they can help put an end to the nasty stereotypes like these. Although there have not been openly gay men actively playing in the NFL, there have been men who have retired and came out after they were done playing. They have chosen this because they did not want to be flamed in the NFL and did not want to go about it alone. There are strength in numbers and if all 4 men who are speculated to come out as homosexual come out together then they can face adversity together and support one another. If only Jackie Robinson had this then he would have been much better off at the beginning of when he joined the MLB, but overall I am positive it made him a better person and came off as strong because of it. Much like Jackie Robinson these men will look to make history and attempt to make a better life for homosexuals everywhere. They will also try to put an end to gay stereotypes like not being athletic or masculine. It may also motivate other homosexuals to be active in sports and may also teach children and adults alike on how to accept them for who they are no matter their sexuality. I believe this is the right time for the four men to come out and I believe the world will become a better place because of it. I look forward to when it happens, if not this year, then eventually, but when it does it will go down in history.

 

http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/sports/2013/03/28/ac-intv-kluwe-same-sex-marriage.cnn.html

“Hail to the V”

Just a few days ago I was sitting on my couch watching TV, waiting for another commercial to end when I hear the narrator say the slogan “Hail to the V”. Now normally I do not feel the need to rewind to watch a commercial but I was so intrigued by this slogan I just had to see what the commercial was about.

A beautiful young female is frantically searching through her purse for that one thing that is going to take her beauty and self confidence to the next level. But she is skipping past the items that most people would think a woman would use to tidy up in a public bathroom. She throws out her makeup, then her straightener, next a pair of shoes, and lastly nail polish among other beauty supplies. The narrator states how hard women work to maintain their beauty, but having perfect makeup, hair, clothing, and nails isn’t the solution to being at their most beautiful? No, its having a fresh and clean feeling vagina. There is nothing a woman should care more about keeping clean and beautiful than what men would want a woman to keep clean and beautiful. I’m not a woman and I felt offended at the way the company chose to describe the importance of their product. Summer’s Eve is basically saying that “we know what’s going to get you far in life, so you better keep it tip-top!” Women are given the stigma of being less important than men and having to sell their sexuality to carry themselves through life. But even though the commercial may have been meant to give power to women and show that there are many ways she can be beautiful, it doesn’t come off as empowering, is comes off as degrading.

Women should not have to think with their vagina when out in public and a man should not find it priority number 1. The commercial is saying, don’t worry about your hair or makeup because that’s not what men care about. It is the sex they want and we are gonna make sure its the most clean and fresh sex you can give. Women deserve the right to be beautiful in their own way, free from sexual innuendos and expectations. Hail to the V is just another way of bringing women down in society. It is not only oppressive but disrespectful and belittling. I am perfectly fine promoting female hygiene, but not in a way that makes it seem like a woman only has one prized attribute.

Gender bending for freedom?

History gives us many examples of women dressing as men to go fight or escape life AS a woman.  Anne Bonny and Mary Read were famous women pirates who dressed as men many times in their lives.  The famous colonial story of Thomas/Thomasine Hall who was examined by men and women who still were unable to decide definitively on a sex.  In Shakespeare’s time only men were allowed to act, so they dressed as women for their parts in plays.

Many fictional tales feature a woman dressing as a man to follow their husband, or lover, into war.  Since women tend to be smaller in stature they can pass as young boys, and so do the work of squires.  Yet, women like Mary Read could be raised as boys.  Mary went to war and managed to emulate a male sailor until her sex was revealed though her piracy trial.  Of course, she had revealed her sex to Anne and Calico Jack, but remained a man to everyone else.  The world was safer if you were a man.  Yes, you could get in fights or brawls, but women always had to be afraid of rape.

Of course, the most known current version of gender bending is Disney’s Mulan.  She goes in her crippled father’s stead to fight the Mongol horde.  She has help from her horse, a little dragon, and a cricket (this is Disney after all).  She is a young girl, so she is weak and was never trained to use weapons so the training song is a lot of images of her doing extremely poorly.  Then she has a defining moment of choice and becomes the best of the group.  She kinda has the hots for the leader of her troop, but does her best to maintain her “Ping” male persona.  Mulan manages to save everyone with a well placed projectile that eliminates most of the invading horde.  Her sex is discovered and she is turned out in disgrace.  Predictibly, she sees that some bad guys survive and helps the hot leader save the Emperor and is publically acknowledged as a hero.

Now, cross dressing is used in another fashion, to show one’s sexual preference.  “Dikes” and “Drag Queens” are male oriented lesbians and female acting gay men.  By dressing this way these people are free to act in the fashion they feel is natural for them.  There is still a danger associated with dressing out of the norm, but the increasing acceptance of different lifestyles the danger is less than in historical instances.

Women have fought to allowed into the worlds of men.  Not just in working along side them, but in being able to wear slacks or even showing our ankles.  “Clothing makes the man,” is a common saying.  Now that women can wear the same type of clothing as men, they feel that their rights are closer to being equal.

Crime between Males and Females with an Emphasis on Media

Crime is always occurring, but the type of crime that I would like to emphasis is crime between men and women. Violent crime statistics can concur that males are generally more violent and engage in more public violent acts then females do. However, with that being said does not mean that females don’t engage in violent crimes they just are usually open to the public with it. Though crime between the average male and female are not talked about, the media likes to put celebrities on center stage when it comes to violent crimes between males and females. 

In this news segment, they are reporting a story of singer Chris Brown assaulted his at the time singer girlfriend Rihanna. If you watch the video you will hear the anchor says that based of a website Chris Brown attacked Rihanna because she gave him a STD. However, in another rumor they heard Rihanna got into a car accident. 

In this segment of “The View” the cast members are discussing the incident when Tiger Woods wife beat him with a golf club. Here is an incident when it is a female who was the aggressor in the situation. Even though Tiger Woods was the victim of a violent act committed by a woman, he was still deemed as the person at fault simply for causing emotional distress towards his wife. This is a situation that proves that even when I women is the violent aggressor her act is over shadowed by what the male has done wrong. If you listen to the lady, she mentions that the media is always watching celebrities and they have to be careful with their flaws. 

 

When you live your life as a celebrity the media pays attention to their every move. When it comes to violent acts whether it is male or female the media will take just the smallest information and bend every aspect to it. The more information the media attains the more creative their stories become. Its crazy how even though celebrities are human like everyone else, sadly the negative things that happen in their personal life is emphasized such as their participation in crime. 

Woman and children in poverty

Check the video and also website below for straight facts.          

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaYqNOYHmZ4

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/29/women-and-poverty-united-states-facts-statistics_n_1838384.html#slide=1444662

 

Poverty can be defined as the state of one who lacks a certain amount of material possessions or money. Research has proven there is more woman and children in poverty than man combined; some may ask why this is. Studies have also proven this to be true for all ethnicities. Recent studies has shown 26.5 percent of African American women are poor compared to 22.3 percent of African American men; 23.6 percent of Hispanic women are poor compared to 19.6 percent of Hispanic men; 10.7 percent of Asian women are poor compared to 9.7 percent of Asian men; and 11.6 percent of white women are poor compared to 9.4 percent of white men.

 

1. Could it be because man supposedly makes more money than man in the professional work force?
2. Could it be because woman has to support their self as well as their child?

 

Sad to say but I believe it is because some woman still live the house wife life style, however when things don’t go well and a divorce occur this could be one reason why.  Some women don’t have the proper education to get a job and or provide for their self.  One solution to this issue could be encouraging more women to join programs and or attend workshops to learn certain skills to where they would be able to obtain a job. Also job force should raise woman pay.

I don’t really agree with the thought of it being the child but some may argue that. Not to sound like a jerk or anything but I feel like this is an excuse. I personally believe the state would not leave a child with a parent that cannot support them and if so this is a serious problem. Personally I work in a homeless shelter and 90 percent of the residence the residence in the shelter are single you woman with children. There are 3 main reasons they end up here from what I have heard by conversing with certain residence.  Reasons being no education, child at young age, parents put them out. This draws the question what are you going to help yourself. I have personally witness woman agreeing to just move out and live with a man they think might love them. The problem with this is they fall in the same circle cooking cleaning babysitting and not educated. The solution to this problem would be to not rely on others and get educated.  Of course I’m not saying this is the case for all women and or children in poverty but this is the case I have witness.  

Everyone makes mistakes in life that can cause poverty. However the question is what you will do to get out or stay from falling into poverty. A lot of the US ignores this serious matter, we as a whole should help and reach out more. I also believe man are more likely to get hired do hard labor before a female would, this isn’t right because woman in need may be able to perform this task however they get stereotyped. Society as a whole should stop the judging and help these woman and children in need.

Are Equal Rights Really Equal?

Gay marriage has been a topic of discussion in the media for quite some time now. Many disagree with it just for the simple fact that their religion and/or their religious beliefs disagree with being homosexual in general. Since gay marriages prevalence in connection with religion has become a key topic within the media, I decided to interview my uncle, Pastor Ray Gardner on the current topic at hand.  I asked him how he felt about the new found acceptance of two people of the same sex coming together in unity.  His answer surprised me. He replied with “Many individuals are against gay marriage, using religion to back them up.  However, I do not feel that reasoning provides solidarity on an opinion alone.  If an individual feels that they are on course with God’s plan for their life, then they should carry on as they have been.”  I found this quite interesting. It caused me to stand firm in my own affirmations on what true love is.  How can one be denied the same rights, just for being with someone of the same sex?  In my opinion, doing so is an example of metaphorical bondage.  How can we stand on the principles of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, yet we still cause hindrances within many individuals lives?

Sex, Might as well tax em for it!!

When I hear sex work the first thing I think about is prostitution. Prostitution is everywhere in every country in some form or another I am convinced, and it is never going away. I went to Italy over the summer (Aviano) and it was so out there in your face that I was pretty shocked. In one spot near a strip club there was there was even a prostitute trailer that was allowed to sit outside and entice the people that were going in and out of the club. At first I thought it was just a weird strip club but now I am convinced that it was a legal brothel, go figure. There were so many “ladies of the night” here if you wore a too short of dress or skirt you might be mistaken for one. Hell no, not tonight!

Body Image and the 21st Century

As a girl growing up in America I have always dealt with the concept of body image. My family is in the military and I have met people from all around the United States, and we as people with many different backgrounds. The majority of people I have met are American but values vary among people from different backgrounds. I always have had that group of friends always concerned with their body, and never satisfied with what they looked like. I also have always had that group of friends who were completely confident and happy with themselves. These two groups are very diverse and their confidence came in different forms, just like their body shape. I found myself noticing how some people would be so worried about their size and they were not overweight. On the other side of the spectrum there were girls who liked having curves. Even today I find myself wearing two hats with my friends because in one group, my size is not the norm to everyone. In my other group of friends I have an ideal body type.